The other day, I watched The Green Mile (again – smile). Each time it strikes a different note within me. As I was reflecting on it, our cat Gator jumped up on my chest and made himself comfortable. Up and down he went with each of my breaths, his purrs rumbling, reverberating on my chest and in my ears.
With the Green Mile still in my thoughts, the idea of doing a visualization exercise popped into my head. One to get me out of the heavy place I was in, the other for Gator, who is not well. I imagined breathing in healing white light and exhaling darkness (John Coffey-like). The white light came up my feet and with each breath in and each breath out, the color travelled up. My lower body became all white, then my upper body – Gator included – up to the top of my head. Each breath out was dark, each breath in was white, until both our bodies were filled with light and my breath out was pure white. As my chest rose and fell, Gator rose and fell. His body warmed my chest. The white light felt soothing and healing.
Did my healing visualization do anything for Gator? There is so much written about the power of healing energy. My logical mind struggles to believe and often pokes holes in the words I read. But there is another side of me that does believe. The two sides are in a power struggle. My logical mind wants proof. My soul simply wants me to let go and be open to the possibility, without having to know.
“When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take a step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.” ― Patrick Overton
Remembering the warmth of Gator on my chest, I choose to believe. I choose to believe that, no matter what the outcome, my energy and his energy did meld and did make a difference. He felt my love and was soothed by it. Whether it heals or not, is not for me to know. It soothed my worry. It took me out of the future – where my worry grabs hold and festers — and into the present. I choose to believe that every time I connect with him and he purrs, we share warmth and love, our energy melds, and it soothes both of us.
But for me to go there (and truly be there), my definition of healing needs to expand.
Healing is usually associated with curing. Many of us have heard of people who believe they cured their cancer (or some other disease) through the power of positive thought. Maybe they did. But what about the next person who tries with all their might, with all their faith, with all their love for their family, with all their desire to stay on this earth to be there for their loved ones – and still die of cancer? Did they fail? Did they not try hard enough? Of course not. What a horrible burden to put on a dying person’s shoulders, or on a grieving family.
Who are we to say what the outcome is meant to be? For healing energy to exist, does it have to be attached to an outcome that we want? Maybe it can take many different paths and still be healing?
“…surrender of attachment to results, because there follows immediate peace.” – Bhagavad Gita
When I visualize healing energy flowing through me, melding with Gator’s energy, and try to force it to be about healing him, it feels different. It no longer resonates. But when I let go of the outcome and focus simply on a healing energy passing from me to him, then it feels right. Our melding energy is what it needs to be in that moment, and what that is, I have no control over. The outcome is not of my choosing.
It reminds me of this well known prayer (one of my life learning lessons): Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can changes, and the wisdom to know the difference.
As I explore my beliefs around healing energy, I believe that for me it is about: serenity to accept that I will not know; courage to let go of the need to know; wisdom to leave my ego behind, not attach myself to any outcome, and just let it be whatever it is meant to be.
“There is a well of infinity hidden within each Soul. There you will find an incredible energy source, beyond your broadest understanding. It is Light and Healing. The Force of Nature. The essence of Love.” — Royce Addington
“Energy is the currency of all interactions in nature. To leave energetic considerations out of the equations of life and medicine is to ignore 99 percent of what is happening. “ Dr. James Oschman, biophysicist
“We live at the threshold of a universal recognition that the human being is not mere matter, but a potent, energetic field of consciousness.” –Michael Beckwith
“Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. ” — Henry Miller