Untangling tendrils…

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

I recently connected with an old high school friend, from thirty years ago. It struck me how his recollections of who I was as a teenager were so different than mine. I was quick to discount his version, thinking he only knew my outside (that quick to laugh girl), while I knew my inside. But then I thought about it some more. To be who I am today (who I do like and love), there must have been both: a carefree, loving, laughing teenage self and the insecure self I remember. I had thought my version (the insecure one) was the “true me”, but now […] Read more »

Breaking the taboo…

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Two people recently reached out to me on the topic of mental illness. One just published a memoir with her son on bipolar illness. The other is promoting an infographic (researched and created by Best Masters in Psychology) that discusses mental illness in a visual way. Having both in my inbox and knowing the importance of this topic, I decided to meld them together in this week’s post. Why is it so important? Because despite its prevalence and the way it touches almost all of our lives (in one way or another) mental health issues are still talked about tentatively, self-consciously, judgementally, inaccurately…or not at […] Read more »

Caught in the should trap?

Are you shoulding all over yourself?

If we stopped to listen to the chatter in our heads, how often would we hear, “I should feel this, I should feel that. I should do this, I should do that”? I will confess. I have been shoulding all over myself for many years. When I feel guilty, start judging myself, or start beating myself up, I know I have fallen into the should-trap. Shoulds are nothing about the authentic me, here and now. They are usually triggered by past messages, past expectations, current societal messages, or pressures (well-meaning and otherwise) from those around me. We all know we should eat […] Read more »

Being on autopilot…

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Three weeks ago our family pet died. Two weeks ago my father-in-law died. Somewhere along the way I switched from being present to being on automatic pilot, yet both modes have taught me something. I know I was present during the 15 hour drive, as we tried to make it there before Dad died. I have very clear memories of the drive: how in sync my husband and I were as we drifted from talking to long periods of reflective silence. In and out like comforting waves. We talked about death, the unknowns, our fear of not getting there in time, yet […] Read more »